Internet Janitor
The sixth entry in the series tried again to reset the timeline. Taking place just after the events of the 1974 original classic, it erases the history of the second, the entirely unrelated third, the bizarre reboot attempt in 1984 starring Matthew McConaughey in a legendary performance, the not-too-terrible Michael Bay reboot and the better prequel. This one then comes along, followed by yet another prequel and a dreadful Netflix reboot in 2022, which again takes place after the events of the original…
In this entry, we see the events which directly followed the original with a bunch of low edumacated rednecks wipe out, or so they think, the Sawyer family. Years later, we meet Heather (played by Alexandra Daddario from Baywatch) and Heather’s exposed, well-toned midriff (which gets more screentime than anything else). She lives with her unfaithful boyfriend, her slutty roomate and it dosent matter he’s just there to die anyway. When the family she didn’t even know she had died, she inherited a house with a dark secret.
The 1974 original by Tobe Hooper and Kim Henkel is immortal for a reason. It is a brilliant, low-budget film which will stand the test of time. No reboot has come close to understanding WHY it worked. It was not about blood and gore; it was the illusion of violence. An atmosphere so thick you can swear you saw something get killed on screen when in reality they happened off camera, mostly. If you look past the smoke and mirrors, the terror was all in your mind.
This is worse than the 2022 Netflix reboot. Much worse. This is the lowest effort, paint-by-numbers entry of them all. Heather is not a good protagonist; it’s all too brightly lit and has zero, absolute zero atmosphere. I don’t know if anyone ivnovled had ever in their lives seen a horror movie and half assed the entire thing. She’s not very bright either, failing to pick up on a surprise bad guy who TELLS TO HER FACE the twist in his character in the first 3 minutes of meeting her. But oh my God, he lied to her!
Blessed be the chainsaw to raise the IQ of this podunk town, city, shithole, whatever…
The issue is they do NOTHING new here, it’s just yet another group of supermodel young adults who stumble into the backwoods and suffer the wraith of the family. A problem is, her relative who lived in the house with her human face wearing cousin sounds like a much more interesting story than what we got.
There is nothing redeeming here. This, like the Netflix entry, should just be forgotten and erased. If you insist on being a completionist and doing this to yourself, don’t say I didn’t warn you.