Internet Janitor
I think we need to start off with a public service announcement. Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey is not a documentary. It is not a film created for the National Geographic Channel. It is merely his interpretation of a fantastical story. This seems to have confused a lot of people. Secondly, to the racists and bigots, too bad, so sad. It’s almost three hours long, which is going to be a problem for the TikTok brain rot generation.
For the rest of us, let’s chat about a fantastic movie, shall we?
Our story is one inspired by Homer’s Odyssey from a long time ago in a Greek universe far away. We meet Odysseus (played by Matt Damon from Team America: World Police), who is about to leave his bride, Penelope (played by Anne Hathaway from Get Smart’s Bruce and Lloyd Out of Control), to assist in the taking of Troy, in one of the most widely told stories in history: the Trojan Horse. I really do hesitate to say too much if you’re not familiar with the story, so this is a poor description. But it is a fantastical journey with witches, cyclopses and Edward Cullen playing a nasty piece of work vying to marry Penelope when Odysseus does not return with the others.
Before anyone is alarmed. Yes. This movie meets the Zendaya quota for films in 2026. She has this, Dune 3, Spider-Man: Brand New Day and The Drama to name a few, so we’re in a good spot. No riots are required.
I do not believe it is hyperbolic at all to say there is very little chance we’ll ever see a movie made at this scale again. To work with this many people, with so many locations, with more practical effects than any sane man would ever attempt. It is a kind of filmmaking I thought was lost to time. In an era where AI slop threatens to ruin film, television, social media, my lunch and more, this is breathtaking. If you see boats on the water, they are really there; 200 people in battle, there are 200 people there.
I’m old enough; I’ve seen Matt Damon go from Good Will Hunting (1997), The Departed (2006) and now to another Christopher Nolan film. He’s become almost like an elder statesman of his craft. The guy on sets where everyone else looks for leadership, and on an endeavour such as The Odyssey, that must have been invaluable.
Another performance of note is that of John Leguizamo, who plays the blind man Eumaeus, a central character to the story. He began his career in goofy comedies and long since graduated to parts in John Wick, a voice in the very popular Ice Age series and many action roles. Despite a deeply horrifying scene with him early on, he redeems himself and is critical to the story.
While it is three hours long, it in no way feels that way. I know how the story ends, and I was still on the edge of my seat. With the coming age of AI slop being used in movies, we need to celebrate people such as Christopher Nolan who still do it properly.