Internet Janitor
Ghosts of Mars is very much a love/hate kind of movie. You’re either on board with what John Carpenter (he of Halloween fame) created, or you dismiss it as complete garbage. It is goofy, over-the-top, purposefully B-grade sci-fi horror/action, and I loved it. Yes, the special effects do not hold up in 2026, but to be honest, they didn’t in 2001 when it first came out either. This is the movie that broke Carpenter, as it would be nine years until his next, and last film, sadly a dreadful mess, “The Ward”.
In our tale, we meet a Martian police force tasked with taking a very dangerous prisoner into custody, who is currently being held in a remote mining town. In the crew, we have addict Melanie Ballard (played by Natasha Henstridge from Species), Helena Braddock (played by the legendary Pam Grier from Jackie Brown), and Desolation Williams (played by Ice Cube from Are We There Yet?). Last, but certainly not least, is Jason Statham (played by Jason Statham) as a tough-as-nails cop who dabbles in sexual harassment on the side. He’s not the main character, though, which just feels wrong, but he does have hair in this one. Anyway, when they arrive, the town is deserted, and everyone is dead… Or so they think… <ominous and deeply disturbing Taylor Swift music plays>
The film is a goof. It’s not meant to be, nor was it made to be serious. The characters are thin as cardboard, the dialogue cheesy as hell, and no one seems to take any single part of it seriously. Personally, I loved the cheese of how it looks, and if you’re a fan of Carpenter’s work, this is peak. He, of course, does the soundtrack, which is better than the movie itself.
Think of this as another of Carpenter’s works, “Assault on Precient 13” but in space. It’s not nearly as good, or as tight a film, but still solid in my opinion. It is also, in numerous ways, very similar to the Vin Diesel breakout film, “Pitch Black”.
Performance-wise, it’s a mixed bag. They are all mostly “fine”. Everyone’s kind of stoic, and what would have bumped up the rating here would have been some, well, any sign of desperation given their situation. The town is being overrun by long-dormant spirits of Mars taking over miners’ bodies. The train won’t be back for hours. How are they going to survive?
They really needed to amp up the action. It’s one of those movies where grenades don’t kill people, they just make them do a flip. It needed to be harsher to really get that old cheese he was going for, and even though it was rated R, it would be PG-13 today easily.
Of note, one of the train conductors is played by Robert Carradine, who is best known for Revenge of the Nerds.
If you like anything John Carpenter has done. You will enjoy this one. Let’s just hope if Elon Musk ever makes it to Mars, he stumbles across these ancient spirits.