Internet Janitor
The Five Nights at Freddy’s series has been very interesting to me due to how much time they spend on the practical effects for the robots and the three seconds they spend on the scripts. While this is better, story-wise, than the first, that’s like saying your Uncle Joe is finally reading at a third-grade level because last year it was two. It’s not the compliment you think it is.
Years after the events of the first film, the old restaurant still baffingly stands empty. We meet up again with Abby and her brother Mike <played by … error personality not found >. They are moving into a sizeable new house, which Mike can pay for, I’m assuming, with drugs or Only Fans, but Abby misses her old friends from the restaurant. All the while, their cop friend Vanessa is the one to have visions this time, of her evil father, who started the whole nightmare.
I do have an immense love for the practical effects done here by the Jim Henson Company. It adds so much to the film that they are there and not the low-effort CGI we’re used to. As well, overall, the film has a good look to it and soaks in atmosphere. That’s about all of the positive things I can say.
Mike, as a character, is deeply aggravating in how deeply out of touch and ignorant he is. Vanessa has to help, as his reactions make you wish she would just slap the shit out of him for the remainder of the runtime. It is a good thing, I wouldn’t say he’s the main character this time. The film is much more Vanessa and Abby. Actor Josh Hutcherson (from Hunger Games) is so bad here, I blame him and the director for not doing something about it. Mike could have been played by a cardboard cutout, and it would have amounted to the same performance.
Sorry, I was wrong, it’s great seeing Matthew Lillard again.
Has Wayne Knight (from Sienfield) ever not played a complete asshole and waste of a human being in a movie? I get it, he’s great at playing the dick, but his turn here as the robotics teacher is the peak of the film’s lack of any effort on the script.
I’m going ot skip the inevitable third, these are not going ot get any better, and I have other terrible movies to watch.