Internet Janitor
Director Adam Wingard stated that part of this movie was inspired by the 1987 classic, Lethal Weapon, which means Wingard is insane. Overall it has some fun moments here and there, but is also a lazy, amateurish, CGI nightmare on a budget rarely seen in B movies. It is crazy how much money was seemingly spent on the visuals with so little time and effort spent on the story.
All is well on Earth between humans and Titans as we begin the film. And by all is well I mean that Godzilla periodically pops up to stop another titan and kills thousands upon thousands of people every time in collateral destruction. Yet, an ominous signal is emanating from within the hollow earth that is disrupting Monarh’s signals and giving the little girl from Skull Island visions, because she’s psychic or something now. Kong heads down to Hollow Earth for monkey bonding and to stop the threat. Oh… and Godzilla is in it too, for less than 10 minutes.
The film is full of stupid people who are given kind of smart things to say and then also moronic things to say. Such as they know unequivocally that Kong is the last of his species but then they’ve always only mapped around 5% of hollow earth… So how the hell would they know?
Next up, on a mission that has global implications, a gigantic organization like Monarch sends a wacky/kooky/comedic relief veterinarian, a podcast conspiracy theorist/comedic relief dude with zero military experience, one lady qualified to go, and a young, defenseless child. Even in this world where the monsters from our youth and nightmares are real, this is insulting. Oh wait, there is one single soldier with a weapon (no one else has weapons) but we know what happens to that kind of character pretty quickly in these films. I am not one, and never have been, to give a movie a pass because it’s a “popcorn movie” which is just code mostly for low-effort garbage.
No one also seems to mention the tens of thousands of people who died from the actions of Kong and Godzilla. I mean, that’s a low estimate but they cause the deaths of tens of thousands of people.
There are fun sequences, such as when Kong uses a young monkey as a bat if you’re into that kind of thing. Otherwise, I’m still not overseeing Godzilla sprinting like a chunky jogger.
Sure it will make money, but it’ll hit the superhero wall where the audience realizes the studio is insulting them but no longer trying at all to make something good. If it has not already left theaters by the time I write this wait for video, preferably free on an existing streaming platform.
Wait… they had a power glove (think NES but even less useful), which fits Kong perfectly, which heals him for the EXACT problem he had (extreme frostbite), and were able to slip it on him AND he can use all it’s functions instantly AND it seems to have no power source???…
I need a drink