Internet Janitor
In the latest Liam Neeson movie, Liam Neeson plays Liam Neeson, who spends the film in a car, sadly not a Nissan. This had to have been a treat for our angry geriatric action star with a particular set of skills. To be honest, though, as far as your direct-to-video films from him go, this one isn’t all bad.
Our tale begins with Liam Neeson, a high-powered money guy… I don’t remember if he had a title, but it’s something to do with money. His wife is unfulfilled, and his children are stereotypes. Trying to fix a large cash deal, he is forced by his wife to drive his children, Jack (not Liam Neeson) and Lilly (not Liam Neeson either), to school. Along the drive, they get a call from a mysterious voice who certainly saw Speed that says there’s a pressure-activated bomb under his seat and he must do everything they say.
I think it works because it’s very self-contained. We spend the majority of the time in the car with stereotypes. Will his angry teen son come out of his shell? Will his uncomfortably happy daughter think about anything other than pink ponies? Hard to say. In a world full of greed, the story works as the person on the phone is clearly after a large sum of money.
Who can it be? Did you think of someone already? Like 5 minutes in? Well, you’re right.
Okay, I’ll be honest here, it’s clearly a film made cheaply across the pond with a script likely written by AI, and the action at times is mildly entertaining. I only wrote this or watched it to make the Neeson car joke anyway. What more do you want? Do you like the other direct-to-video Neeson movies? Well then, you’ll like this one.