Internet Janitor
Hold on. I think I fell asleep. Okay, I’m back, just as I thought. Now, I did like the director’s found footage films, Grave Encounters, as they were a step above the other half a million other films in the same genre. There was a good deal of hype around Strange Harvest, and while it’s overall a big nothing, there are a few small positives.
Our tale is told in a mockumentary format. We follow our thoroughly charismatic law enforcement and others as they recount the Mr. Shiny murders that plagued the United States. Gruesome killings whose killer was fond of painting a typically bizarre, occult-like symbol in blood on the wall. His notes to the team chasing him speak of setting something free if he can reach enough victims. This real team, not a cadre of rejected adult education theatre students, races against time to stop him or at least clean up after he’s done.
First, the good. The practical effects on the victims are top-notch. I mean, it’s really good stuff, and sure, no law enforcement agency anywhere (well, maybe Florida) could ethically allow it to be filmed, it’s still great. I also liked the killer’s mask, simple and yet effective. That is, unfortunately, the only good thing I can say.
I get there looking to have this film full of regular people, but they have to be believable. Something about all the performances is off here; at no time feels like we’re watching a real documentary. Also, not everyone’s a poet, but the dialogue is also painful at times. Something like this would have been a much bigger deal, and yet we only met two people working directly on the case, and it just seems tiny.
Throughout, I kept hoping for a big twist, something to ratchet up the stakes and make this feel like a desperate race against time to stop him and save as many lives as possible. There is none of that. It seems casual. There is no twist. When we find out who is doing it, the majority of the mystery is over, and when it ends, it just ends. It all felt deeply, deeply tedious and unfulfilling.
This one is a skip.